Or something like that…
Following my experience at the Great Forest Park Bike Race, I felt compelled to share a story about someone who I shall, to protect her anonymity, call Superwoman. Superwoman is impatient and a poor listener. As a child, Superwoman participated in field day at St. Catherine Laboure. Although she never won any of the races, she noted that the winners of the 50 yard dash, 100 yard dash, potato sack race, three legged race, and dreaded one mile race were almost always at the front of the “pack” for the bulk of the race. A seed had been planted.
Superwoman grew up to be a bicycle racer. As she rolled across the start line of her first crit, she thought to herself, “These guys aren’t that fast.” Her impatience pulled her to the front of the pack, even though experienced racing friends had advised her not to go there. Did I mention Superwoman has poor listening skills? Once at the front, Superwoman thought to herself, “I’m winning!” The collective thought of her opponents was “sucker”.
Superwoman had forgotten that this was not a potato sack race. If you are in the front in a potato sack race, you are in the lead. If you are in the front in a cycling race by less than several yards, you are pulling. Nonetheless, Superwoman was blinded by the euphoria of her misguided belief that she was winning. This euphoria lasted about 8 laps.
On lap 9 the party was over. “S#@* I’m tired”, thought Superwoman. As the finish line came into sight, the sound of clicking gears and opponent whooshing by her filled Superwoman’s ears. Once again, “S#@*” ran through Superwoman’s mind.
Superwoman will tell her friends that she was “winning for most of the race”. “Was winning” means “Have lost”. Come on now. No one remembers the horse that finished second in the Kentucky Derby. If she continues to ride the short bus to races, Superwoman is destined to always be a bridesmaid and never a bride.
Please join me in crossing my fingers that patience and listening find their way into Superwoman’s gray matter. It is her only hope to escape racing mediocrity. My hope is that, by sharing this story, other riders can avoid the path taken by Superwoman. God speed. Whatever that means.