Flat? FALSE!

We’ve all been there. You could call it the Bermuda Triangle of cycling where momentum strangely disappears. First you check your rear wheel for a flat. Secondly, you make sure your brake pads are not stuck. Am I in a head wind? You may even second guess your training program.

Why do I feel like this?

Am I getting weaker instead of stronger?

Should I have had the Clif bar instead of the Carmello?

Could this be hypoglycemia because Carmellos do not contain protein or B vtiamins?

Did I stretch my IT band properly?

Am I properly hydrated? Should I have drank some Gatorade?

A plethora of scenarios for how you feel rush through your mind. Another thought may be “WTF!!” The hard cold fact is that you have been falsified. As falsified as Dolly Parton’s boobs or the hair on Burt Reynold’s head. Your eyes are telling you lies. You my friend are on a false flat.

A false flat is not really a flat. It is a hill that looks like a flat. Unlike a true hill, a false flat is hard to spot because it is a hill disguising itself as a flat. False flats are more difficult than true flats because they are not truly flat. As for false hills, I am yet to see one.
-BR