CxMas 2010. An Adventure in Unpredictability

that's a lot of egg nog

Poor Devin

Motley Team Rev cru ready to rumble
The bikes

The line up

And they're off!

Now that's festive.

It was 8 a.m. December 19th which was 5 hours after Mike and I had gotten home from the Hub Christmas party. I talked myself out of bed. This was a special morning because it was CXMas morning. What is CXMas?
It is a non-race shrouded in secrecy that did not really happen that is put on by a slightly non-conventional mountain biking team named after everyone’s favorite action actor Stephen Seagal. Team Seagal, as you may guess, is the name of the team. PBR is their primary sponsor.
10:30 rolled around and my fellow Grand Cru members Lo and Alice arrived at my house to begin our mecca to CXMas. Lo was suffering from APAitis that she had contracted at the Hub party and was uncharateristically cranky. Even though I pointed out that it was a pretty chilly 34 degrees outside, she was insistent that we ice the beer. We iced the beer and headed out.
When we arrived at the sacred starting grounds, we were greeted by fellow Revers Dessa, Jackie, Kube, Jackie,Jean, Soli, Suzanner, and token Revers Bob Beaury and  Tom Fleming. Entry fee was a few canned goods for charity. PBR was complimentary and cases of it were stacked at the check in table. All of the aforementioned Revers were decked out in some rather impressive Christmas attire.
The start of the race was Le Mans style. We laid our bikes down at the top of a hill. About a hundred yards down the hill, we lined up for the start. Those in costume were allowed to line up in front. The first person to register for the race was allowed to line up at the top of the hill by the bikes. He chugged a beer. When his empty beer can hit the ground, the race was officially started with a mad dash for our bikes. For the record, the dude that started the race was wearing a tt helmet and had aero bars on his cx bike. Classic.
The first leg of the race took us over a partially snow covered Page bridge. The partial snow added some real excitement. Pavement gave way to tall grass which gave way to gravel which eventually ended at the first zip tie checkpoint. After affixing the first of five mandatory zip ties it was back on paved trail that was snowy in places and eventually led to the second zip tie check point which was on the beach of Creve Couer Lake. Fun times on the sand on your bike.
This second zip tie station was followed by some more paved trail until you hit the egg nog station. Drinkng the egg nog was mandatory. Unfortunately, this egg nog station was at the base of the infamous “Creve Couer Steps”. It felt like there was about a thousand or so of them. The egg nog crept it’s way back up my esophagus. Pig felt like she weighed 250 pounds.

mmmmmAfter this nauseating ascent, the course was easy smeezy for about 10 minutes and then you were greeted with a dicey, gravely, snowy, rutty, descent back down to the lake. Did I mention steep? Lordy mama.This descent was followed by some easy trail riding that took you back towards the Page bridge and eventually onto the Katy trail. The Katy trail was anywhere from snowy to wet. Stylish "mud thongs" quickly appeared on everyone's backsides. As you approached the Family Arena, a PBR hand up station was conveniently located to offer refreshment. Because I had on my Hub jersey and the Hub is a sponsor of Team Seagal, I was given VIP treatment and offered Chimay. Nice.The trail took us to Bangert Island where the single track section began. The whoopty doo's were fun but I couldn't get Pig into the small ring so I was a little challenged on some of the ascents. On one ascent I ran out of leg power and stalled Pig. When I tried to bail, my saddle got stuck in the crotch of my tights. It wasn't pretty. I am glad that the whole ugly scene wasn't caught on video.As I exited Bangert Island, I really had to pee. Fortunately, I was able to find a ditch that had tall brush separating it from the trail. I shed my layers down to my bibbs and headed down into the ditch. I just hoped that no one would pass by and become suspicious about the pile of clothes and bike lying on the roadside.Moments later I emerged from the ditch feeling lighter and somewhat rejuvenated. I layered back up and hopped on Pig ready to ride like a bat out of Hell. As I made my way back down the trail, I encountered some folks heading at me in the opposite direction. I veered into the deeper snow on my side of the trail to make room. Kaboom. I went down in a blaze of glory. Cheers abounded. Beer was offered. I took a minute to make a quick snow angel and then resumed my pursuit of the finish line.After a quick visit at the PBR hand up station on the way back in, I was at the finish line in minutes. Those in the lead at this PBR station were given "gifts" to carry back to the finish line.Poor Devin


 What an adventure. What a great time. Hats off to Team Seagal for putting on this event and only asking canned goods for charity in return. Wow. What a group.

A big thank you from Team Rev to Team Seagal. You are a team that certainly shares our karma and love of a good time.

Yours in the Study of Fun,
BR